How Do You Know If You Need Couples Therapy?
Considering to see a therapist may seem like a big step. It indicates that you accept the fact that things aren’t perfect in your relationship. Also, the thought of visiting a therapist may scare you even more probably because you aren’t sure what exactly will happen in these sessions. However, ignoring such problems with your partner and avoiding a visit to a couples therapist can have a lasting impact on your relationship. Hence, it is important to understand the signs that show it’s time to visit a therapist.
Here are some of the most issues that indicate your relationship needs help.
1. Trust issues
One of the most common reasons forcouples to seek therapy is to overcome a major breach of trust. The infidelity could be in any form – sex, emotional affair, a series of lies. In such cases, rebuilding the trust can be possible if both parties freely express their vulnerability in a forum.
2. Poor or no communication
Having little or no communication with you partner is a serious threat to your relationship. If you are ignoring to discuss important issues with your partner, mainly because you feel they wouldn’t understand or end up fighting, then you know it’s time for you to visit a therapist. No matter what your problem is, therapists insist on increasing communication with your partner. They believe the more you communicate, the better your relationship will be.
3. Frequent Arguments
If your conversation with your partner has become more conflict-oriented, you need help. These conflicts need not be big. Even if small arguments are a part of your daily conversations, you must consider it to be a threat to your relationship. Remember, everyday, small fights can lead to major issues in future.
4. Not replying while arguments or becoming too aggressive
If anyone of the partner shuts downs or gets aggressive during conflicts, solving problems between the two can become difficult. Such ways to handle conflicts can worsen the situation, and indicate the need for therapy.
5. Hiding important things from your partner
Couples finding it difficult to share important facts of their lives with each other must consider visiting a therapist. A therapist’s office can become a safe and supportive place for both partners to talk about things they have been hiding from each other.
6. A major event affecting both the partners
Sometimes a major mishap can begin to create differences in a couple’s relationship. This could be anything – loss of a child, unemployment, a serious health issue, etc. Many couples do not think about going to a couples therapist after a major event has affected their lives as they don’t realise the problem is actually affecting their relationship. Therapy can help both the partner overcome the situation and grow their bond stronger.
7. Something feels wrong, but not sure what it is
Couples therapy is useful not just for solving relationshipissue, but also for identifying them. Sometimes, things in the dynamic of your marriage changes, but you aren’t sure what they area.If you begin to feel uncomfortable with your partner or find yourself chronically resentful of them, you must consider seeing a therapist. Though these problems may seem small, they can grow drastically, creating a crack in your relationship.
8. Lack of emotional intimacy
Losing the ‘spark’ in your relationship may seem normal, but this shouldn’t be ignored. The grind of daily life can affect your connection with your partner. Also, hectic lifestyle can cause the two partners to begin to grow apart. If you feel emotionally disconnected with your partner, you have got to consider visiting a couples therapist.
9. Sexual issues
This problem can be the symptom as well as the cause of relationship issues. A shift from frequent physical intimacy to none is a major sign of relationship problem. At times, the problem can be more than this like a partner feeling rejected or sex being seen as a bargain tool. Such issues can be resolved with the help of a professional.
Though these signs indicate that your relationship requires help, there are some signs that also indicate that no matter how hard you or your therapist tries, the problem isn’t going to end.
- You or your partner have decided to end the relationship and aren’t willing to follow the therapist’s instructions.
- The issues in your relationship are longstanding, for years.
- An old mental illness isn’t being treated and the couple is relying just on the therapy to help.
- The therapist you have chosen isn’t experienced enough to handle issues like yours.
It is important to remember that both partners must be willing to solve the issues collectively. Even if one of the partners isn’t motivated enough, the therapy may not work.